The Left Foot

So, we're supposed to start things off on the right foot, right? Well, I don't know what the right foot is, at least not for this little slice of cyber-space, but I'm guessing that it isn't what follows. Some might ridicule me for making the inaugural posting on this site one of such unimportant drivel as what will follow, but I stand by my decision. (In all fairness, I'm saying it's the left foot.) For those of you that are still reading (why?), hang onto your hats.

Not 15 minutes ago, I was in my living room, playing my housemate in the greatest game ever invented. By humans. It goes by a little name of Super Smash Brothers. And yes, the 64 edition. I don't need those hyped up GameCube graphics. 64-bit puts food on the table. Anyway. I am Samus. Not 'I play as Samus' or 'I'm really good as Samus.' No no, I am Samus. And my housemate plays Fox. We're playing at the Donkey Kong place (you know, the one with the barrel on the bottom) and he is winning. Computer Jigglypuff was gone ages ago, and Computer Donkey Kong is hanging on by a thread. I pick up the Home Run Bat, and Housemate Fox falls into the barrel. At the bottom right of the platform, CDK is standing at the bottom of the ramp, and I, glorious Samus, am up the slope from him.

I tap towards + A. The anticipation builds. A shining star appears at the sweet spot on the Home Run Bat. A tingle runs down my spine. Donkey Kong raises his hands in the air for a gorilla-style ground-beating. Breath catches in my throat. The barrel (containing Housemate Fox) squishes in anticipation of firing as it slides to the right. I begin to swing forward. DK's hands are at eye level. Fox's head appears from the barrel.

Time slows down.

I connect! Donkey Kong's arms never reach the ground. Fox never gets a chance to land. All that is left on our 8-foot diagonal projection screen is Samus, magnificently performing the perfect follow through, two diminishing trails of smoke leading off the screen and into the heavens. I, Samus, rock.